I’m not a hater…but I sure hate you!

Posted on October 27, 2009

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Meanwhile at the U.S/Mexico border: toon01(Bear in mind that I am not at all racist; all races have idiots, criminals, and opportunists.) Run away from Dora, Boots! She’ll exploit you for profit. Vaminos!toon02Cartoon Rosie sucks more ass than an inmate on his first week. However, the real Rosie is far worse; at least cartoons are not capable of holding that lingering fart smell. This pig strikes me as a self-serving, gun-grabbing, over-opinionated CUNT (Note: I only resort to the C-word when it absolutely applies.)toon03Eat a Did-diddly-ick, Flanders. This do-gooder does his best to hate on fun-loving Homer Simpson’s bipolar ideas at every turn. Plus, his kids belong on the Douche Bag list. Boycott the Leftorium!toon04Out of all the Family Circus kids, I think I’d like to kill Billy the most; jab that pencil right into his unimaginative brain. This stubby little know-it-all has always annoyed me. Collecting material for your blog, huh? Despite the little bastard having been around for so many years, he’s never gotten any older; or funnier. Ugh…this strip proves that just because something is mainstream, does not necessarily make it good.

No matter how badly they piss you off, it’s a waste of energy to go after cartoon characters. Hit real targets for better results:

 Urkel: toon05I wouldn’t even kill this silly prick; I’d just jam an ice pick into his voice box to render him mute. His shrill voice, over-exaggerated dorkiness and predictable lines have tainted syndicated sitcoms for years. I’m still waiting to catch the episode where Carl catches him in bed with his elderly mother, and kills him with a shotgun. I hope your place in pop culture was enough, Steve; you’ll never have another shot.toon06Sissy. Before slipping quietly into obscurity, you were a boy talking trash in a grown mans’ game. 50 Cent could have beaten your bitch ass to death with his bare hands. Eminem lyrically abused you at every turn. Riding around on “Cribs” on your 3-wheeled bike in the suburbs…repo day must have been a real eye-opener. I hope your tour of NYC soup kitchens is going well.toon07Just another whiney liberal that doesn’t deserve an opinion. Everyone else in the world does, but not you. This close-minded, one-track horse’s ass refuses to see anyone’s opinion but his own; no matter how much evidence is presented. He resorts to yelling and badgering guests when the conversation isn’t going his way. It’s a sad commentary on both politics and news media that you can still find employment. Example:

Paul, the sky is blue. Here is a photo of it; along with a written explanation from leading scientists. Also, you can clearly look out the window right there and see that it’s blue. Can we agree on that?

Paul: I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree…I’ll tell you what IS blue; all the states that Bush, Cheney, Rush, and all the other conservatives DIDN’T win. How about that? In 1992, Bill Clinton said that…

-KZ

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