Best Observation Ever

Posted on October 28, 2009

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The SECOND funniest thing I have ever seen:

I stopped at Circe K for gas once. As I came out of the store and began pumping, I noticed two boys entering the lot. They were about 11-12 years old, and both were riding bikes. One of them suddenly cut his handlebars too sharp, and yes, he fell. His head made a loud smack sound as it recoiled off the pavement. After a second of processing it, he burst into tears. His friend looked at me, but I refused to get involved. I won’t allow today’s kids to “STRANGER DANGER” me for trying to help. I wanted to tell him that all he could do was rub it, and perhaps ask inside for some ice. bikeWreckAs he struggled to get his bike picked up, an unmarked Cuyahoga Falls police car turned in behind them. I looked away. The cop had that “I just ate shit” look on his face. He seemed annoyed that these kids were in his way as he short-cutted through the lot. I know, I’m a prick. I was their age once, and I’m sure I gave society plenty of free laughs with my clumsiness. Other people on the lot were laughing; at least I kept my composure at the time. I laughed later. The funny part isn’t that he got hurt…like I said, I felt bad for the kid! Seeing that kind of made me feel good though…usually I have the misfortune others get to laugh at. The suddenness of it is what made it the second funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

 The FUNNIEST thing I have ever seen….

MCD Ft MyersI stopped for lunch with the crew. We were on Ft. Myers Beach, and decided on McDonalds. We ordered, got our food, and sat down in the back of the dining room. Across from us, was a scruffy young man. He had no food on the table, and from the time we first entered, he sat with his head down (on his folded arms.) As we ate, our conversation was suddenly interrupted; SCHRRRRRRRRTTT!!!! This guy had collapsed from his chair. He’s now completely laid out on the dirty tile floor, arms covering his face. We jumped from our booth. I crept over him, wondering if he had died. My brother Rob cautioned me to back off, as it may be a trick. We went back around the corner to the front counter. I explained to the Mcmanager that ol’ boy had just fallen over and was laid out. He replys, “Shit…not again!”  The manager went to the back, yelling at the guy to get up. MCDfallAs he shook and grabbed at his arms, the man shrugged away mumbling about “a few more minutes.” He tried to lie back down and be left alone! The manager finally got the guy to sit up in his chair.  He explained that this couldn’t be tolerated any longer, and that perhaps it was time to move on. After some bickering on the subject (and threats of calling the police,) the man was on his way out. Again, the fact that this guy got hurt (if he did…seemed so high he was unable to register pain) was not what made it so funny. The loud screeching sound of his metal chair skidding on tile as he fell, will forever be burned in my mind. Every now and then, I think back to that noise and get the giggles. Take a second; put yourself in my shoes for each situation…do they seem funnier now?

 *Bonus*

Random observation:screwedMusicChopped-and-Screwed music is ONLY enjoyable if you are fucked up. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done…you just have to be impaired. If sober, you won’t have the patience to listen to it (waiting for the chorus to catch up, etc.) When you’re completely sideways, you’ll appreciate skips in your cd. 

-KZ

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