“That’s Gangster!”

Posted on November 26, 2010



“That’s Gangster!”
The term “gangster” is tossed around far too loose and reckless these days; especially since comments made online often go unchecked. When a young/fat/white/teen/Hot Topic shirt-wearing/Manson fan/college kid uses the word to describe his rhinestone boots, it’s time for us as a society to pause and consider our words more carefully.

“Oh My God, these boots are so gangster!”
Things have gotten way out of hand.
Louis Vuitton bandanas; are you kidding me? That shit ain’t gangster!

Gangster is:

A 1978 Cadillac Coupe Deville with hidden guns and stash boxes/brawling with a guy walking down your street because you’ve never met him/firing shots at someone you don’t like on a crowded street/wearing enough diamonds to finance a revolution.

Riding with a flag out the window, hoping someone has a problem with it/dodging the cops while amassing a small fortune illegally/carjacking to flee the scene of another crime/preferring a forty ounce serving when selecting a beer/knowing that someone’s family members are looking for you/choosing death rather than returning to prison/having overseas drug connections and never talking about them.

Killing a rival for his chain and wearing it around the neighborhood/selling your last half-gram so you can eat/robbing the liquor store on your block because you have to/having pulled triggers, not knowing if they lived or died/naming your pitbull Kilo and eventually being the one to put him down/takeover-style robberies with automatic weapons/earning enough cash to wear a different custom outfit each day/doing your time like a man without ratting on anybody.

Carrying a stolen gun with an obliterated serial number and two bodies on it every day/moving birds, a few ounces at a time/burning the truck afterwards/issuing serious death threats on public walls with a paint can/waiting for the night club to let out so you can avenge a murder/@CosignMag.

Gangster is NOT:
A new Gap hoodie/Soulja Boy/a clean criminal record/a Dodge Neon on 20” rims/parents buying your high school ass an iPhone/Pizza Rolls/suspenders/drinking a bottle of hot sauce on a dare/your teacup Chihuahua/Juicy shorts/the new Justin Bieber single.

Funnel cake/just having a Scarface poster (You’re not Tony Montana!)/ill-fitting jeans/smoking flavored tobacco from a hookah/your child’s baseball team (even if they’re doing well)/adjusting your outfit based on what neighborhood you’re in/a catchy country music song/dressing up your pets/diet soda/’mentioning’ a few things to your neighbor, the cop.

Know what else should never be referred to as “gangster” again?

Stopping for a smoothie at the mall/your friend wearing a $25 dollar grill with stones in it/a strike while bowling/watching 90210/that tired-ass tongue piercing/your Jeep/Chipotle/your family’s summer home/wearing Spam T-shirts/pot brownies on the weekend/any NASCAR driver/a pancake breakfast/punk rock bands/eating an ice cream cone in public/loitering outside a Walmart.

New student orientation for college is not gangster!

Please help maintain the integrity of this word by using it only where it absolutely applies. Thanks. I’m glad we got that cleared up…

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